Lies

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Dean
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Lies

Postby Dean » Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:05 am

This is about learning new things. About me. About other people. About life. When I started my recovery, one of the things I kept hearing about is lies. How we lie to others and to ourselves. I thought that didn't apply to me. I don't lie. Not really. Not about the important stuff. But I starting to see what thy are talking about when they talk about lies.

I was talking to some friends recently. Friends I've made in recovery. They invited me to their house. An open invitation. "Come out to our house and hang out some time" sort of thing. I really want to. They're awesome people and I really like them, but I've been a recluse for so long that I've forgotten how this friendship thing works, if I ever even really knew. So I started scheming on how to go to their house. My main scheme (aka lie) was to say "I've got to be in the neighborhood so how about if I stop by?" I don't know why I do that. Trying to protect myself in case they say no? Trying to keep from looking pathetic? I don't know, but I finally realized that I was lying. To them and to myself. Why not just say "What are ya'll doing Saturday? I'd like to see you." WTF is wrong with that? Is that how normal people (someone recently called them "Normies") do it?

I'm going to try to stop over-thinking things so much. Try to stop the scheming and plotting and manipulating. Just let go and be honest. With myself and others.

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